open letter no 2

Chicago 2 why Chicago

Chicago 2 ทำไม ผมต้องดัดจริต ฟังวิทยุชิคาโก ด้วย? ๑.    ผมติดนิสัยชอบฟังวิทยุตปท. จากแดนไกลเป็นนิสัยมาแต่มัธยม เพื่อฝึกภาษา ประกอบกับมีผู...

วันจันทร์ที่ 15 มิถุนายน พ.ศ. 2558

Poetry or pornography, Thai poetry: a critique of Mr. ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน‘s poem

บทกวี หรือ ข้อเขียนลามก: วิจารณ์งานของ คุณขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน


                                                                                                แดง ใบเล่
                                                                                              

I am determined, bro, to do the critique with a hint of smile, anyway, anyhow, and whatever. And I use my real name in doing it since the person whose work I criticize also uses his real name in his work.

But, how real or fake are we?

Once I learned from the article: “La censure tisse sa toile”, Le Nouvel Observateur, le 24 janvier 2013, that “L’ Origine du monde” my preferred painting of Gustave Courbet was censured on Facebook, I understood then that the globalized world I live in had become “petit” , figuratively.

We shall leave the world at that size for the moment, and let’s move on with our business. I’m glad doing business with you, readers!

What Is? 


It is the feature poem published in the “prestigious” Art and Culture magazine, November 2009 (B.E. 2552). The poem was composed by Mr. ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน, the magazine’s Chairman of the Board.

How Is?

It is like the President of the Board of the Atlantic  writes a feature poem for that very magazine.

Where Is?

This kind of true-to-human nature manner could happen in Thailand where before the birth of blogging and facebook the liberty of expression and freedom of speech was a sure thing once you owned a magazine, a newspaper, a publishing house, etc. as did Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน.

Pas comme ça chez vous?  But, isn’t it like that where you live?

Why Is?

I could not resist the temptation to read the feature poem in the “prestigious” Art and Culture magazine because it was written in the Polite Swaying-Four (โคลงสี่สุภาพ), my favorite Thai poetic form.


Khao Sarn Road style orientation: the Polite Swaying-Four poem

Anybody in sync with the basics of Thai language would understand that standard Thai has five tonal sounds, but only four tone markers. In amazement, when the first Khao Sarn Road backpacker jerk learns about the Polite Swaying-Four poetry (โคลงสี่สุภาพ) he or she must have been told that tone marks required in this type of poetry were limited to only TWO tone marks: ไม้เอก and ไม้โท, the signs ก่  and  ก้  as shown in the plan below,


Schema for a stanza of
Polite Swaying-Four poem
showing its TONE rule:



The earliest evident for this kind of poetic form first appeared in the early Ayudhya period, when written language had only TWO tone markers, ไม้เอก and ไม้โท. In later Ayudhya when trade flourished with China, other tone markers were added, probably to accomodate Chinese sounds (ไม้ตรี กับ ไม้จัตวา).

represents a syllable without tone marks, while ก่ is a syllable with low tone mark (ไม้เอก) and ก้ is a syllable with falling tone mark(ไม้โท). A stanza of Polite Swaying-Four poem consists of four lines, each line has two waks, or parts. Each wak is characterized by the use of low tone marks and falling tone marks at certain fixed syllable positions.

Scheme of Polite Swaying-Four poem showing its RHYME rule:





An example,

เสียงฦๅเสียงเล่าอ้าง

อันใด พี่เอย
เสียงย่อมยอยศใคร

ทั่วหล้า
สองเขือพี่หลับไหล

ลืมตื่น ฤๅพี่
สองพี่คิดเองอ้า

อย่าได้ถามเผือ

 

 

                                                                                                                                                          —Lilit Phra Lo (ลิลิตพระลอ), c 15th–16th centuries

Transcriptions:
siang lue siang lao ang

an dai phi oei
siang yom yo yot khrai

thua la
song khuea phi lap lai

luem tuen rue phi
song phi khit eng a

ya dai tham phuea









sǐaŋ lɯ̄ː sǐaŋ lâw ʔâːŋ

ʔān dāj pʰîː ʔɤ̄ːj
sǐaŋ jɔ̂m jɔ̄ː jót kʰrāj

tʰûa lâː
sɔ̌ːŋ kʰɯ̌a pʰîː làp lǎj

lɯ̄ːm tɯ̀ːn rɯ̄ː pʰîː
sɔ̌ːŋ pʰîː kʰít ʔēːŋ ʔâː

ːːj tʰǎːm pʰɯ̌a








Translation:
                    What tales, what rumours, you ask?
                    Of whom is this praise being spread throughout the world?
                    Have you two been asleep, having forgotten to wake up?
                    You both can think of it yourselves; do not ask me.

  


The feature poem of Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน

        อก    ซบอกสั่นสะท้าน   สยิวสะทก
        ผาย  แผ่ผืนแผ่นอก               รับอ้อน      
        ไหล่  แบกโลกเข็นครก           เอวคราก
        ผึ่ง
    แดดผึ่งลมร้อน              เพิ่งรู้ธุลีเดียว
                                                                  
                                                                                              โดย ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน
                                                                Featureed in Art and Culture magazine,
                                                                                      November 2552/ 2009


English translation, as best I can:

Breast pressing against breast, quivering with excitement; Titilatingly aroused,
Stretching the breast to indulge the pleading for love.
Carrying on shoulders the Globe, while pushing the boulder till back cracked,
Bathed in the sun and the hot wind; what’d been known, just a peck of dust.



My French translation attempt (่ีjust in case):

Nos poitrines se pressaient l’un contre l’autre; ça donnait le frisson de désire.
La poitrine s’étandais pour accueillir la suppliante de faire l’amour.
Le Globe sur les épaules, en poussant un rocher à remonter la colline, j’avais mal aux reins.
Le corps baigné du soleil et du vente si chaud; ce que je savais n’était qu’une poussière.



Poetic device: Symbolism, metaphors and similes

Thai poetry relies heavily on the use of symbolism, metaphor and simile. When the emotion, senses and sensibility, become so intense and electrified everything will be codified. The text turns suddenly into a kind of secret code.

When we were young readers, to our amazement, the hero and heroine who were deeply in love disappeared as if by magic from the love scene and disolved into thin air without reasons. We then found ourselves in a zoo or in some kind of flower gardens. The story continued seamlessly while the hero, the heroine, and all the scene metamorphosed into fish, a pond, and lotus flowers etc. The magic situation continued for awhile, finally the world would crumble down. Mount Meru, abode of Indra the highest god in Buddhist belief, was shaken violently to its core. 



Experienced readers understand that those stanza lines are the passage dedicated to climax of a love scene or “บทอัศจรรย์”, which is a must for Thai romantic literature. In a literary work, even if it’s a monk who wrote the story, he is pardoned to include the love scene - a requirement of romantic writing genre - in his work. As young readers, bit by bit we came to understand that in the world of Thai poetry, religious belief must succumb to the magic rule of Arts.

An example:
                             แสนสนุกในสระน้อง ปลาชื่นชมเต้นต้อง
                   ดอกไม้บัวบาน ฯ

                             Much fun in the pond of love, fishes happily dance;
                             Touching blossom lotus.

The majority, not all, of backpackers on Khao Sarn road and most journalists of the international press in Bangkok would find it hard to understand my argument. Where in the world that religious beliefs were subjugated to the rule of Arts and not vice versa? Even the “prestigious” Art and Culture magazine of Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน had a hard time recognizing this categorical argument, if ever. But once the retarded lot, who hadn’t visited Khajuraho, seem to get the clue, because of their clumsiness and underpreparedness, not to say inculte,  they use the key of the understanding to open a whorehouse, not a romantic chamber. 

                             อก     ซบอกสั่นสะท้าน       สยิวสะทก
                    ผาย   แผ่ผืนแผ่นอก                    รับอ้อน       

Breast pressing against breast, quivering with excitement; Titilatingly aroused,
Stretching the breast to indulge the pleading for love.


“Breast” , in Thai, is repeated three times in the first two stanza lines. It is a substantial portion for the total of forteen syllables. Poetry means compression. But when twenty one percent, or three over forteen, of words used is the ONE word in repetition; then that word commands the whole text. Verbs and their qualifying adverbs serve as predicates only to “breast”. The whole text becomes a sensual, explicit physical creature: almost a sex organ in its own right.

“Stretching the breast to indulge the pleading for love”, ผาย แผ่ผืนแผ่นอก รับอ้อน, no text can compare to this stanza line in its simplification. C’est vraiement sans façon. If Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน were Mr.Jourdain in Le Bourgeois gentihomme, he would gleefully have changed his line From,

          “Good heavens! For more than forty years I have been speaking prose      without knowing it.”
To,

          “Good heavens! For more than forty years I have been speaking verse       without knowing that it was all prose.”

The poem of Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน is void of symbolism, metaphor and simile, la pierre angulaire of Thai poetry. For him a breast is a breast, and we can consequently extrapolate that for him a vulve is a clinical vagina, unmistakably. How could it be a blossom lotus?


                             Poetic devices?-- But, I argue against.

Let’s move on to the last two stanza lines. Abruptly, the content breaks from hardcore erotica to simple mechanical porn -- sort of heavy metal or BDSM. At first glance it seems that the third line contains poetic devices important to Thai poetry: symbolism, metaphor and simile. The forth and final line that follows just cops out of the heavy metal environment. Suddenly Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน pops himself up in the middle of nowhere; he has intelligently crafted something that seems to be extremely out of context and irrelevant that the whole universe would be in a better shape had he kept it for his private use: what’d been known, just a peck of dust!
                  
I ask myself: What the f_ck is that?

Bon, ben, je continue. Translated into French, tant bien que mal, by me:
Le Globe sur les épaules, en poussant un rocher à remonter la colline, j’avais mal aux reins.
Le corps baigné du soleil et du vente si chaud; ce que je savais n’était qu’une
poussière.

And my English translation version:
Carrying on shoulders the Globe, while pushing the boulder till back cracked,
Bathed in the sun and the hot wind; what’d been known, just a peck of dust.

Since I did observe from the first two stanza lines that the nicest thing about Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน is that his poetry says what it has said, no more, no less. Therefore, I need a good argument against him, because his last two stanza lines seem to say more than they have said.

Was Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน crafting metaphoric symbols here? A deep read and wild research is required in arguing against this part of his writing.

After the third meditative mindful breaths, I realized that his third stanza line:

Carrying on shoulders the Globe, while pushing the boulder till back cracked,

is in line with the Greek myth of Sisyphus, who, in the underworld, rolls a boulder uphill for eternity. The myth has been popularized among some Thai readers, a rare species of living things, by the famous philosophical essay of Albert Camus, whose several works were translated into Thai.  

Was Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน, who used first person voice in writing the poem, Sisyphus of Albert Camus? Was the boulder carried on the shoulders of Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน similar in analogy to the one rolls by Sisyphus?  More fundamentally, was the ACT of carrying a big rock uphill of Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน similar to that of Sisyphus whom Albert Camus wrote about?

The one and same answer to those questions is No!  And it’s my duty to illustrate the negation (with, hopefully, a good argument).

First of all, Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน is not Sisyphus of Albert Camus because Sisyphus was condemned to be a proletariat of gods, working in the underworld for eternity, while Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน is not, and does not pretend himself to be an eternal being. Furthermore, nobody but his own “karma” has made him carry that big rock. Finally, his burden is not endless as that of Sisyphus. It’s temporary from the outset, and will last untill he could arrange his finance with some big money, for example. Sisyphus has no privilege to reconcile his destiny financially.


Sisyphus walks downhill, Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน No!

Once Sisyphus brings the rock up to the summit, automatically the heavy boulder rolls back downhill. From this moment on, Sisyphus who now has no physical burden become conscious of the whole business of his unending rock rolling. During this moment of truth, the story turns into a tragedy. It’s tragic since the hero is now conscious of his fate. And the real suffering comes from within, from being conscious, rather than from the physical labour. He is an immortal anyway, no back pain sir.  

On the contrary, Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน entertains us with his personal sex scene. Opening his poem with a celebration of the relief of burden by having sex. Standing proudly ready to enjoy himself, he is expanding his broad chest to the full waiting for her bosom to press upon it while at the same time she pleads for his love making (รับอ้อน).

Puzzled by the opening of a distinctively pornographic scene without preamble or antecedent, readers will only learn later, when they have finished reading the last two stanza lines, what is the why, the because, the since, the for-the-fact-that of such a sensual celebration of Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน. For us, readers of the poem, it is only then that we experienced the “Aha moment”.

Problem is ….. an integral re-read of the whole poem after the Aha moment  has resulted in an enigma: How could one do love making while busting one’s proverbial behinds off carrying a big boulder?  

A challenging sex action indeed. And what’s the point of such a cumbersome act?  Had Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน tried not only making a parody of the Myth of Sisyphus but also challenging some acrobatic positions of the sculptures at Khajuraho temples? Quelle audage monsieur, quelle audage!


Perhaps my argument is weak.

After begining the so-called “poetry” with a pornographic scene in the first two lines, Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน has turned himself into jerk philosophe by evoking Sisyphus of Albert Camus in the third stanza line.

There is some similarity of the experience between the two heros, that is when Sisyphus is walking downhill following the boulder, a moment of truth appears on his mind that he is happy, as experienced also by the persona of Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน in the poetry. But Sisyphus hasn’t been doing sex, his bliss is mental, not physical and sexual.

Or, for Mr.ขรรค์ชัย blissful sex is all labour and sweat? Mr.ขรรค์ชัย misses the whole philosophical point of Albert Camus as well as the love that conditions Lilit Phra Lo (ลิลิตพระลอ) which he parodies.

My remark: a piece of badly written porn wouldn’t make literature; badly written porn is porn, period. Mr.ขรรค์ชัย บุนปาน couldn’t take the slothful, opportunistic short-cut to literature.

Literature is a different kind of writing. Tu piges?


The killer final stanza line: ผึ่ง แดดผึ่งลมร้อน เพิ่งรู้ธุลีเดียว

English translation:                    Bathed in the sun and hot wind; what’d been known, just                                                                                a peck of dust.

French translation:            Le corps baigné du soleil et du vente si chaud; ce que je                                                                               savais n’était qu’ une poussière.

What the f_ck is that, may I ask?

Putain de bordel de bon Dieu. Quel écriture!  My translation may have diminished the real sense somewhat, which means it has ameliorated the original up a bit. However, whatever, his final stanza line which he has done a Control C from quel-bordel-Dieu-sait , and has done a Control V right here, is really, really, fucking brilliant. Vraiement incritiquable!  It does remind all jaw-dropping poetry appreciation students, of the famous “Ozymandias”. Oh yes, we have all become diminutive creatures before the phenomenal Thai language poet of the century.

Ozymandias says:

                             Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!





ปรีชา ทิวะหุต
บ้านนาพญา
หลังสวน ชุมพร

มิถุนายน 2558

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